HOME   People do good because they are human, not because they are religious! 

Do not give God any credit for the good they do, they did it!


Giving up the urge to be happy and letting yourself be happy can let you be happy

People are happier if they give up the search for happiness.

It is not true that just working and forgetting about trying to find happiness in it necessarily makes you happy.  It gives you a good chance.

Is giving up the search for happiness  the cause of your happiness and sense of peace? Maybe its just coincidence.

Are you mistaking the happiness and peace that comes from being less attached to things for being general happiness and maybe it will not last?  Happy moments always happen to everybody anyway.

We know that if we do something and seek nothing back that we find we can derive happiness from it. Happiness involves being at peace and you cannot have happiness if you keep wanting it for then you have no peace. Working in order to make yourself feel happy means you are telling yourself you are unhappy or could be better off so it isn't very positive. And fear will worsen because you can work hard to get something to make you feel happy and find out you don't feel any better when you reach your goal.
The person who thinks saving money for a huge mansion to live in will necessarily make him happy is making himself a slave to an idea. It cannot work. Because his goal is not about being a better person, he is considered selfish. The person who lets go of attempts to be happy in order to be happy may behave as a better person would, but this good behaviour is only a by-product. His goal is to find happiness for himself and not for others even though he does make others happy. If he needed to make others miserable to be happy he would.
If you forget about gaining happiness, you can get it. Forgetting about happiness then to be happy is not selflessness at all. It may be objected that just because you forget about happiness does not mean you are forgetting to be happy. You might be just forgetting. But you would not be forgetting unless you believed you would be okay or if you felt it or both.
Forgetting about happiness then to be unhappy would imply that it is reasonable for somebody to ask you to carry them on your back from Edinburgh to London. So would forgetting about happiness to be neither happy or unhappy. You wouldn't want that. So you wouldn't be doing the forgetting unless you believed or felt you were going to be okay. Death does not seem real to the person risking his life who jumps into the water to save you from drowning and that is why he is able to take the risk. He enjoys the forgetting and this enjoyment takes over. It is not the best kind of enjoyment but it is still enjoyment.
The person who has a stomach pain will find that if he sits around wishing for the happiness of relief he will only make it worse for himself for he will be conscious of the pain. He will find that if he does something to distract himself from the pain he will be better off. This is self-interest. And so is distracting yourself from the painful and unhappiness- making fact that you cannot make yourself feel happy all the time. You will achieve that happiness by doing good works not by thinking about the happiness. Even good works that do not benefit others such as writing a novel when you have no hope of getting published or acclaimed make you happy. This is self-interest and it makes you happy!
Happiness is, according to altruistic and religious "wisdom", a side-effect of living a life that wants to see others happy. Sometimes it seems as if that is the case. But you will often do good and feel no better. It cannot be proven that the happiness really was a side-effect of the action. Two things happening at the one time does not mean they are connected or the first causes the second.
The egoist has to forget about how happy anything will make him feel in order to allow himself or herself to be happy. He or she might not be happy but she or he will have no hope of being happy if she or he focuses too much on happiness. This is because feelings are hard to predict and control. You can be content today and moody tomorrow for no real reason. You can work all your life for a million pounds thinking it will make you happy and feel nothing when you get it. The egoist with any wisdom at all will have to forget about being happy in order to hopefully be happy. The miser who wants a billion pounds knows he has to stop thinking about the billion pounds if he wants it. He has to put it at the back of his mind. Does his forgetting mean that he is not being selfish or that he is not being greedy? The egoist is just following the recipe for happiness. That is still egoism. The egoist is still doing what is best for her or him. The egoist is certainly not forgetting about happiness in order to be unhappy or to feel nothing. The egoist must be doing it to feel happy. It is the egoist’s method for attaining happiness. If the egoist enjoys seeing others happy the egoist will not want to be unhappy or to feel nothing for that is not good for the people he helps. It endangers enthusiasm and they may notice that you don’t really like helping them.

Becoming a slave for happiness by trying hard ruins happiness. Back off and happiness can come.